I Met God at the Supermarket
15 Jan 2026I met God at the supermarket. He said, “You alright?” I said, “Yeah, you?”
He said, “What’s on your mind?” I said, “I’m just getting some food…”
But I think he could tell, ’cos I looked kinda sad.
He said, “Go on then, ask.” I said, “Why are things bad? Why are things hard? Sometimes it’s shit… Sometimes it’s like— oh my God, is this it?”
He said, “I can tell you that now, but you won’t like the answer.”
I said, “Give it to me straight. I’m not calling you Master.”
He said, “Fair enough. I’ll give it to you straight. You know when you watch a film, a story, or a play? The bit where you think it’s all fucked, there’s no way the lead could survive— then suddenly, yay, something good happens, and then they’re okay.
They learn something true, and new on the way.
It’s basically that. You’d be bored without this. You wouldn’t know what the good bit is.
What—just a film about someone who’s fine? Then nothing happens, and wow… it’s alright?
Trust me. I’ve tried it.
Before you were born— when no one was rich, and no one was poor. When no one was cold, just happy and warm.
Ah. It was shit. They all went to war.
Just to find reasons to feel something more.
So now it’s like this: you hit, then you miss. Then hit, and you win. That kinda thing.”
And he could tell by my face I was still kinda pissed.
He said, “I tried to tell you, but you won’t like the gift…”
I said, “When does this end?”
He said, “Oh— in five minutes.”
I said, “Wait, what?! I have so much to give! Just give me more time— I’m sorry, I’ll forgive.
My dreams are under-dreamt, lost words on my lips. I missed all the sunsets, the clichés and shit.
And loving my love. And time with my kids.”
And then he goes, “Ahhh—aha. Did someone find reason? Look forward to something? Have faith that there’s meaning?”
I went, “Ahhh nooo— you got me, you prick!”
He said, “Here’s your time back. Now fuck off and live.”